Friday, December 31, 2010

A Blistered Mouth, The City Museum and 3 Stitches - What a Day!

The McHawes Clan decided to take off to spend the day at the City Museum.  A great plan right?  The girls will love it.  Hey let's start the party with a trip to Joey B's on the landing for lunch.  I open the menu and discover a personal challenge before my eyes. in the form of 2 patties, 4 slices of cheese, 3 buns, lettuce, onions and fries.  If you put this down in the allotted 30 minutes, your prize - a T-Shirt!  That's right a T-Shirt.  There is no way I could pass this up.  I must say I was a little shocked when there were enough fries to feed a village.  This was going to be tough.  Since I was on the clock I attacked the burger.  The "just off the grill factor" was not taken into consideration.  It only took a few seconds for me to immediately know that I had made a horrible mistake.  Through the tears in my eyes I could see the steam coming off of the burger. Another dead give away was the fact the burger and cheese were actually stuck to the roof of my mouth and inner jaw.  After fighting down the first bite the inside of my mouth felt like a room with peeling wall paper. I was able to eventually consume the fireburger of death, but was not so lucky with the fries.  No shirt for me.

We then made our way to the City Museum.  I would highly recommend this place for anyone of all ages.  Obviously several others were referred as well.  A rough guess would be approximately 51,000 people in attendance along with us.  Regardless of this factor the girls had a great time.  This could definitely be an all day event anytime.  

It was all fun and games until Marli decided to attempt to eat a steel handrail while running full speed.  She was not going to win a T-shirt either.  After the wiping of blood and tears the girls were off again.  After awhile we got a good look of the inside of Marli's lip.  We then decided our next stop would be the Urgent Care facility.  I had a feeling this was not going to be near as fun as the other two places.

I was correct in my assumption.  However, I do believe it was harder on me than Marli.  She actually laughed during the stitches.  This was at my suggestion of bringing her sister back and see if they could sew hew entire mouth shut.  Marli was all for this suggestion.  She was as tough as nails through the whole thing.  I thought I was doing alright as well.  However, the nurse asked me 3 times if I needed to lay my head down (must have been a little pale or she could tell I was tired).   Three stitches later we were on our way home.

All things considered it was great day with the girls.  I guess it is time to plan the next adventure.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The 10 Worst Things I Did in the Ring as a Pro Wrestler

I recently posted the list of 10 things I was most grateful for during my time as a Pro Wrestler. Well, I got to thinking about some of the other crazy stuff that has taken place while I was in the ring. A new list is born, the 10 worst things I did in the ring. Here we go.

10. A match taped for television with John Diamond. Absolutely horrible from the beginning to the end. I left the ring wanting to quit. It was that bad. I felt that way until Larry Henning walked up to me and said that you have to treat each match like it was the best one you ever had no matter what. Good advice.

9. Completely missing a leg drop at South Broadway that I was supposed to land. Completely packed house. No place to hide.

8. Losing my balance and all arm strength as I attempted this handstand, frankensteiner, head scissor type move. I am sure this masterful move I dreamed up has no name. I completely collapsed onto my head like dart trying this move. This move took place about 2 minutes prior to entry #9. Still no place to hide.

7. Having to sell a belly to back suplex for about 7 minutes, on a television tape. Why did I have to sell it for that long you ask? Well, it took the Iron Sheik that long to get back up after I took the bump from him.

6. Spitting what looked like a raw egg from my mouth and into the face of a heckler in Booneville, Missouri. Harley's wife was furious and refunded the guy his ticket money. I guess the three previous lung oysters to his shirt were uncalled for as well.

5. Promising not to gig on my forehead the week before my wedding, so there would be no gig marks in the wedding pictures. However, I could not go without color, so I went high into the hairline. Immediately after that a large chunk on hair fell out and has never grown back. The color was good though!

4. Completely forgetting that I was being "choked" by Abdullah the Butcher because Harley Race did a run in to save me. Turned into a complete mark and was watching until I remembered I was a part of the match as well.

3. Body Slamming a rookie approximately 77 times in one match. It was the only bump he knew how to take. It was the guys first match and he BS'd me on what he knew.

2. Being pinned by Trevor Murdoch approximately 3 minutes into a match. The devastating finisher, a DDT. I was supposed to kick out on 2. Well, I never heard the first count. So when I kicked it was 3, not 2. I asked Trevor what just happened when I heard the bell ring. He responds, "you got pinned bitch" and scooted like lightning out of the ring. Thanks Trevor.

1. Dropping an elbow to Dumptruck Dave Perry and splitting my pants and my boxers from button to back belt loop. I followed this up by bending over unaware everything that I had was in the wind. When I felt the breeze I stood and attempted to tag my partner. He grinned and turned his back to me. Thanks Johnny Jett.

I know it is hard to believe the DI made mistakes in the ring, but it did happen. All of us who have been in the ring have our own personal lists.

16 Month Old Dies After Being Held in Boiling Water

Another horrific crime against a child. I do no understand how anyone can hurt a child. However, it seems every time you turn on the news or open the paper you see or read something like this. I would like a few minutes with ole Carlnelus Simmons, I think we could get it right. These scumbags should have to check out the same way they kill their victims. The hell with cruel and usual. You hurt a kid you lose your rights.

In addition to that, the mother needs her ass kicked as well. Who the hell leaves their child with a CONVICTED MURDERER? Really? So shocking that something went wrong with this arrangement.

DALLAS (AP) — For more than four months, a toddler battled for his life after being held in a pot of boiling water, Dallas police said.
Police told The Dallas Morning News in a story Tuesday that 16-month-old Jabraylon Bables appeared to have been dipped in boiling water. The toddler died Saturday from injuries and infections, 36 days after police say he was deliberately burned.

The boyfriend of the child's mother is a convicted murderer named Carlnelus Delaney Simmons. He remains in the Dallas County Jail on a felony charge of injury to a child.

"I wish it was me lying in [Jabraylon's] spot," said Jasmine Thompson, the boy's mother.

Attorney information was not available.

Simmons was babysitting the child when he claimed the toddler was burned accidentally by hot bottled water that fell. But, police said the boy was dipped and held in the boiling water. The Dallas County medical examiner has ruled the death a homicide.

Simmons has a violent past and was convicted of killing a man in a 1994 bar fight. He got a 15-year prison sentence for the crime.

"I walked out that day thinking I was going to come home to [Jabraylon] and I didn't," Thompson said.

Leaving the child with Simmons was something she said she will regret forever.

"I came home to a burnt baby," she said.

The baby's father, Byron Bables, said he is still trying to understand how someone could hurt his child.

"I see a beautiful angel," he said. "I see a baby that could never be hurt by anybody. It's hard to believe in my heart that anyone could hurt my child. He was beautiful and nice and just happy."

Police arrested Simmons and plan to charge him in his death.

Pasted from

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The DI's top 10 things I'm grateful for about being a Pro Wrestler

For over 9 years I had the opportunity to travel throughout the Midwest and perform, bleed and sweat for all types of crowds. Some of the buildings were packed and some barely had people there to watch. Regardless, I wouldn't trade one bump along the way.   
Here is a list of the 10 things I am most grateful for.
10. This one is shared, Tony Kasta, the 1st promoter that I worked for and Dumptruck Dave Perry for talking to me and telling me where to show up to train. Without either one of these, I would probably have never started my career.
9. All of the guys who trained me and beat the holy hell out of me for weeks. This list includes John Blackheart, Frankie D, Pete Madden and Johnny Jett.
8. The Magic Man for our match at South Broadway and the HUGE pop we got from the crowd when I cut your hair. Or, the pop the 1st night I bled and you literally stuck a fork into my forehead.
7. Frankie-D, Johnny-D and Billy-D for the most violent matches that I ever took part in and the gallons of blood, busted chairs and broken tables that it took for us to make our way through our rivalry.
6. Wrestling at the Chase. The cast of King Kong Brody, Harley Race and Pat O'Connor that made me watch every weekend and make me want to be a wrestler.
5. Pat O'Connor, for being a great friend of the family and taking me backstage as a kid and introducing me to all of the wrestlers.
4. Guys like Pete Madden, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Murphy, Bull Schmidt and Super Star Steve for making me look like a super hero every time we crawled in the ring together.
3. Harley Race. The Boss. Thanks to him for giving me the opportunity to work for him for so many years, making me a World Champion and being one of my closest friends.
2. Johnny Jett, the best trainer, best partner and one the best friends I have ever had in my life. I can't thank you enough.
1. My family, who put up with the time away from home, travel on the weekends, the injuries and all the crap that came along with me being the Drill Instructor.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Josh Pruno - now on iTunes

Alright, everyone log onto iTunes and search Josh Pruno.  My best friend just released his album this past week and it is now available on iTunes.

I guarantee a couple of things, 1. You will love the music  2.  You will be hearing the name Josh Pruno a lot in the near future.

Proud of you brother.  Now get over there and buy the album!

I must also say, the picture on the album cover isn't bad either.

Josh Pruno - buy the album here

Friday, December 10, 2010

Silent Night, Now that I bit your tongue off

Ok, this maybe one of the craziest stories that I have ever heard.  The information is reposted from a news site:

This lady bites off her husbands tongue and then after they sing christmas carols.

Karen Lueders of Sheboygan, Wisc., has been charged with "felony mayhem." What counts as mayhem in Sheboygan? How about biting your husband's tongue off when he tries to kiss you goodnight?

That's what Lueders did to her husband, Willard, on Monday night. But it's weirder than you think, even! See, Lueders was apparently on the toilet when Willard went to kiss her. (Weird!) When he went in for the kill, she apparently entered a "manic state," biting his tongue off and grabbing his junk.

When police arrived at the scene, Lueders was singing Christmas carols outside and carring a "New Year's horn." If that didn't convince police she was nuts, the fact that she simply blew the horn in their ear and threw coffee on them when they asked her what was wrong probably sealed the deal. They found Willard inside, and sent him, and his severed tongue, to the hospital in the hopes it could be fixed (no word on that front yet).

From the Sheboygan Press:

Karen Lueders did not speak during the court appearance, but she leaned over to a reporter as she was escorted out in handcuffs, saying, "I love you, it's too bad you don't listen." While leaving the courtroom she continued in the same singsong voice, saying, "I love you. Karen Lueders."

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Spreading Ink on the Human Canvas - Ben Difani

I have extremely talented friends.  People that are not only very gifted in what they do, they have the passion to pursue what they love.

Anyone that knows me knows that I love my ink.  My tattoos are very near and dear to me and really say a lot about me.  This is where another of my talented, very close friends steps forward, Ben Difani.  I am covered with multiple hours of his work.

Ben and I have been friends for several years.  I have the first of his tattoos and still getting inked presently.  His vision and ability are off the chart.  He stays busy and is in demand.  However, if you want ink, call him and schedule it now.  

Here is a link to his website and all of his contact information.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Toddler hanged by ankles in closet, beaten

This is a story that I found on the news the other day. The stupidity of some people amazes me. I would think after all of the years I have spent in law enforcement, it wouldn't shock me, but it still does. Anytime I hear of a child being harmed, it just sickens me. The most defenseless and fragile and yet the most abused.

CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) -- An 18-month-old South Carolina boy is in critical condition after authorities say he was hanged by his ankles in a closet and repeatedly beaten by three teenagers.
   Multiple media outlets report that the three teens, ages 14, 15 and 16, are accused of abusing Louis Wright of Charleston. The child's mother, Shakera Wright, has also been charged with allowing the beating to occur.
   Police were called to a hospital Tuesday when the mother brought Louis in with face swelling, fractured ribs, bruises and lacerations to his spleen, liver and pancreas.
   She told a social worker the teens "play-wrestled" with the boy Monday. She said they hit her son until she told them to stop.    Arrest warrants say the oldest teen admitted the abuse, calling it wrestling.
   Pasted from <>

Friday, December 3, 2010

Making it in Nashville - Josh Pruno

The majority of the time my blogs are centered around my rants or a huge dose of sarcasm.  There are times that I use my blog as a sounding board for views or what I feel is important to spread the "word".  I guess in a way I am doing that today as well.  I am getting the word out as well as letting someone know how proud we are of him.

I think all of us have our dreams.  That passion to do what we truly love to do.  I divide mine between photography and writing.  They are my passion.  Yet, I am unable to take the full time plunge just yet to fulfill my dreams.  Maybe someday.  To follow your dream, better yet to chase it down takes guts and more than anything the heart to do what it takes.

Josh Pruno is doing just that. An outstanding high school and college athlete, he traded his bat in for a guitar and began to chase his dream.  He has chased it all the way to Nashville.   He is an amazing singer and songwriter.  It can be on the stage or in a pub in Canada with the Mancation Crew, whenever he performs he has the audience.

Josh is releasing his first CD next month.  He is in the regular play rotation on the radio at J-98.5.  You can hear his music on his facebook and MySpace pages.  You can purchase them on iTunes.  He is hosting a CD release party in Nashville at the Hard Rock Cafe on Broadway on January 29th.

I am putting a video with this post as well.  It was filmed in Detroit in early 2010.  He is making good on a promise to my daughters to right a song about them.  It took him about 5 minutes to put it together.

Most of all what I am the proudest about, he is my best friend.  I love you brother, congratulations.  It is just starting.  You have earned and deserved everything that is coming your way.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Stan Musial

Cardinal baseball. It is almost a religion in these parts. I know it is for my family. If you want to be told to shut up and leave try talking during a Cardinal game at my parent's house. To say that we bleed Cardinal Red is an understatement.

My Father, who I sometimes refer to as the Rainman of sports knowledge, probably has not missed a total of 20 games on the radio or on television since the late 1950's. (except for his time in Vietnam) To this day he still carries a small transistor radio with him where ever he goes during the summer so he won't miss a single pitch.

My Dad is now 65 years old. If you want to see him revert into a 7 year old boy, bring up Stan Musial. His entire expression changes. He tells stories of Musial's accomplishments and how he got to meet him when he was 17, the night he joined the Navy. He talks how he is the greatest cardinal of them all.
This past week, Stan "The Man" turned 90. He also learned that he would be receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom Award. This is the highest honor a civilian can be awarded. He is more than deserving. The Post Dispatch detailed the award and gave 90 reasons why we love The Man. Here are those articles.

Happy Birthday Mr. Musial.

On the grand occasion of Stan Musial's 90th birthday Sunday, we offer our own special gift: a literary cake, topped with 90 reasons why we love The Man, or one for each year:
1 • Musial is the nicest person we've known. He's devoted much of his life to making others happy. "I suppose it's because I'm a you-only-live-once type, and I figure I might as well enjoy everything that happens," Musial said at the end of his career. "It's also with me pretty much a matter of putting myself in somebody else's place. So what I try to do is never to hurt anybody else and figure if I don't, then I'm not likely to get hurt myself."
2 • Musial, unlike so many athletes, always appreciated what he has and was thankful to play baseball for a living. He is the anti-Terrell Owens. "Maybe one reason I'm so cheerful is that for more than 20 years I've had an unbeatable combination going for me - getting paid, often a lot, to do the thing I love the most," Musial once said.
3 • A lovely man, with lovely symmetry. Musial stroked two hits in his first game in the majors Sept. 17, 1941. He ended his career with two hits in his final game Sept. 29, 1963, in St. Louis. And with those last two hits, Musial finished with 1,815 hits at home and 1,815 on the road. As the writer George Will once wrote, "baseball's rich in wonderful statistics, but it's hard to find one more beautiful than Stan Musial's hitting record. He didn't care where he was, he just hit."
4 • The Musial Statue. No, it doesn't look like him. It's not nearly as perfect as the Man himself. But Cardinals fans from around St. Louis, from every state and even the world have flocked to the statue for decades to take photos and meet family, friends and fellow Cardinals fans. It's the destination of a baseball pilgrimage.
5 • The Man once made a cameo acting appearance on the hit 1960s show, "That Girl," starring Marlo Thomas.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Prince is getting married. Who gives a rat's a**?

The Prince is getting married.  The Prince is getting married! Oh, he gave her his mother’s engagement ring.  She is getting her chance to be a princess.  WHO CARES!!!??  I don’t think it would be any more possible for me to care less about this.  I have in the past expressed my deep dislike for soccer and the World’s Cup and its outcome.  However, I must retract some of my previous soccer hating statements.  “The Engagement” has now taken front and center in my “couldn’t care less” category.

I am not completely cynical in regard to this.  I am glad someone is going to marry Prince Horseteeth.  I hope that his little brother Prince Chucky gets to be the best man.  Congratulations to them.  Ok, maybe that was a little harsh.  Let’s step back, have a cup of tea and think about this.

I guess this is a big deal.  I thought the biggest news in the world was if Mel Gibson and his girlfriend had settled custody and proved Mel has a bad temper.  Maybe, it is the latest Lohan news?  Who can be concerned about such menial news when the Queen has invited the new couple over for Christmas this year?

Is there more proof out there of how unconnected with reality we are?  What about a news story about that young serviceman that is getting married and then leaving for the war?  Or, how he gave her his Mom’s engagement ring that she got from that Vietnam Vet that never returned home.  A story of the father killed in battle and will never see his new born child.  We never hear these stories.  They do not make good news.

I am not saying we need only gloom and doom in the news.  However, I find it tough to stomach being force fed all of the royal wedding news when there are greater things transpiring in the World.  I guarantee by the time the actual wedding gets here, we will be completely overloaded and repulsed by the mere mention of it.  I guess I am shallow and not understanding, but who really cares?  Honestly.  I am going to try to be more open minded.  Well, kick the soccer ball my way; put the wedding on pay per view for me.  Oh, and on a serious note, Heidi and Spencer are going to renew their vows.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Marines and Thank You Veterans

The past week has been filled with emotional tributes and humbling experiences.  The month of November is home to two very important days to me and to our country.  The first is November 10th, The Marine Corps birthday.  This is a sacred day to all Marines young and old.  We turned 235 years old this past week.  I think we look pretty good for our age.  Besides the birth of my children, the day that I was called Marine for the first time is the proudest day of my life.  I can still hear the voice of Senior DI Sgt. Romans as he called us Marines for the first time before we marched over for graduation on August 31st 1990.  He explained he had been the one that had spent the time in training with us and would not be cheated by some Officer who had no idea of who we were, of the privilege of calling us Marines.

Sgt. Romans was the epitome of a U.S. Marine.  He was one of the four Oakland police officers killed in the line of duty in 2009.

The Marine Corps Birthday is celebrated like Christmas for each Marine.  It is a time for us to puff out our chests and let everyone know that we are truly The Few, The Proud.  We are the smallest branch of the military, less than 1% of America’s population are Marines or Former Marines.  It is a small fraternity and we like it that way.  The Marine Corps has a much celebrated history.  One that is colorful and filled with stories of bravery and heroic acts that go beyond human belief.  As Marines we are unapologetic for who we are.  We have a mission and we will accomplish it to provide the security that each American enjoys.  Semper Fidelis to all of my fellow Marines.

On November 11th our nation recognizes all Veterans and their sacrifice.  One did not have to serve in combat to have made a sacrifice for our country.  Anyone that has served has made the sacrifice.  Your country called and you stepped forward.  You did your part.  It is the Veteran that placed his or her life on the life so the very people who protest them would have the right to do so.

I had the opportunity this year on Veteran’s day to take part in an interactive television show and documentary honoring Veterans.  I was asked by a television crew to be the Desert Storm Veteran.  I was accompanied by World War II, Korea, Vietnam and Iraqi Veterans.  It was an honor to stand among them.  The filming took place at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery in St. Louis.  In the audience there were several disabled Veterans and Vets from all eras.  To see the sacrifice these individuals have made and continue to make is very humbling.  In between the two shows I drove out into the cemetery, as I looked out in to the thousand of white headstones it truly slams home what has been given to ensure we have freedom.

The following day I attended a Veteran’s Breakfast and Ceremony provided by Herculaneum High School.  It has to be held the day after Veteran’s Day, because HHS is closed on Veteran’s Day, as they should be.  I tip my hat to them.

I find it a travesty that other schools are in session on Veteran’s Day.  Shame on you.  To the school boards that refuse to vote for the closure, shame on you as well.  All of the days that are taken off each school year for whatever reason, I think you can close for November 11th.  I don’t want to hear the excuse of “we teach about it that day”.  You have all year to teach it, close that day.  I would like to take the families of Veterans who were killed in action into the school board meetings and let them be told their loved one’s sacrifice wasn’t worthy of honoring with a day off.

As Americans we must each do our part to ensure the sacrifice and service of all Veterans is never overlooked.  Take the time to thank a Veteran and have the guts to stand up speak for the Veterans who no longer can.  They did for you.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Suicide, Permanent Call for Help

During this past week I attended the wake of a classmate and a friend who passed away. We graduated together. We had gone to school together since the 6th grade. We were friends in school, not best of friends but friends. He was really a hell of a nice guy. You would be hard pressed to find anyone that would say anything different. 

We rarely saw each other after graduation. We would run into each other on occasion in town or out and about. I saw him last a few weeks ago. Last week, for some reason, life became too much for him. He took his own life. I am not going to go into details or pass on rumors. Very sad. He was married with children.

As a police officer, I have dealt with numerous suicides. They each have their own tragic story and even more of a tragic ending. I can't think of any of them in which I didn't shake my head thinking to myself, how can it be that bad? But, I have come to realize to that individual it has become THAT bad. They are not thinking correctly. Something has tilted too far on the inside.
I am not sure they realize the pain that is caused to the family. In most of the cases I worked, from what we could figure they felt they were too much of a burden, in a hopeless situation and all would be better off without them around. Man, are they wrong.

When a person commits suicide, there is a society driven stigma. The act of suicide invokes such strong emotions ranging from sadness, guilt, anger and embarrassment from family and friends. There is a lot of self blame and the feeling of what could I have done to prevent this. Honestly, most of the time there was nothing that could have been done. It is very tough to protect someone from themselves. Probably the hardest for the family members is to arrive at the fact, it is not their fault.
There are approximately 35,000 suicides per year in the US. There are 800,000 attempts per year. Men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than women.

In many of the cases there are warning signs. Signs that may help the family get the person help. It isn't a 100% catch all prevention, but it might help. Some of the signs are:

Situational Indicators
Loss of a Relationship Via Rejection or Separation
Death of a Loved One
Diagnosis of a Terminal Illness
Loss of Financial Security
A Change in Physical Appearance
Loss of Employment/A New Job
Loss of Self-Esteem

Emotional Indicators

A Sudden Lift Of Depression!
It is a well-known fact that as a person begins to climb from depression the possibility of a suicide attempt increases. There are two thoughts as to why this happens. The first is that when a person makes up their mind to take their own life, they become more at peace with the situation. They feel more in control and thus the depression begins to lighten. The second idea is that as lethargy lifts, a person finds the energy to carry out suicidal plans made while incapacitated. Regardless of the reason, however, this is a very critical time.

Behavioral Indicators
Acquiring a Weapon
Hoarding Medication
Putting Affairs in Order
Making or Changing a Will
Increased Interest in Suicide
Giving Away Personal Belongings
Mending Grievances
Checking on Insurance Policy
Withdrawing from People

Verbal Indicators
Straightforward Comments:

  • "I wish I were dead"
    "I wish I had the nerve to kill myself."
    "I wish I could die in my sleep."
    "If it weren't for my kids, my husband ... I would commit suicide."
  • Hints:
    • "I hate life."
      "Why do I bother?"
      "I can't take it anymore."
      "Nothing matters anymore."
      Pasted from <

None of these signs are guaranteeing that someone is suicidal. However, they can be warnings.
Be aware, be a good listener.
If it does happen, let them know it is not their fault and be there for the survivors. There are several support groups and help outlets.

In closing, I guess I just wanted to try raise awareness and I am sorry old friend. May you rest in peace, now.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Nothing Screams Professionalism Like a Mustache

Ron Jeremy
The "stache".  Does anything scream out I am professional quite like a mustache does?  The favorite facial accessory by some of the most famous dictators, porn stars and other just exceptionally cool guys.  The lips of leaders and influential figures have been decorated by these hairy displays manhood through out time.

Magnum PI

I guess I missed the "soup strainer" bus.  Several years ago I ditched my famous Dirty Sanchez look and opted for the goatee.  What was I thinking?  However, I would like to thank my employer for pointing out my obvious facial deficiencies and the fact a neatly trimmed goatee completely prohibited me from conducting the full duties of my job.  The proficiency and professionalism of the department took a giant leap forward and instituted a new facial hair policy.  No goatees.  Yet, they understand the power of the Porn Stache. 

The Hulkster


I can already tell I have up'd my game since shaving.  Obviously it is a great look because everyone that sees me makes a comment.  I hope as the white tan line, where the hideous proficiency blocker called home for 10 years, fades away, my new look still garners the attention it deserves.

So, in honor of my newly revived lip warmer and the triumphant return of my Dirty Sanchez look , I provide some photos of some the Hairy Lipped Heroes of the past.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The cops didn't need to shoot him, he was a good guy

We have all seen the scenario play out on the evening news.  Once again we see it this week in St. Louis, the great husband, father, community pillar and charity worker gunned down by the evil crooked Police Officers on the streets.  Tuesday night St. Louis County Undercover Narcotics Detectives capped another one.

Two NARC Detectives see what they believe is a drug deal transpiring.  They approach the car, the car speeds at the officer and strikes one of them, pinning him between a parked car and the bad guy’s car.  The cops open fire, killing the driver.  Cops 1 Bad Guy 0.  The grieving widow then goes on all the news channels, fakes her cry and tells what a “good” person he was.  Oh and then there is the demanding of an “outside” investigation.

I am pretty sure there is not really a need for that outside investigation.  First of all, he is not a “good” guy.  He just tried to run over a cop.  He is not good.  The officer was in fear of his life and reacted.  He did what he was supposed to do.  It is not his fault the bad guy brought a car to a gun fight.  By the way, he didn’t just kind of bump the officer with his car and pin him in.  He hit the parked car with enough force to break the axel.  It should also be mentioned the bad guy (former bad guy) has numerous past drug related convictions failing to pay alimony and driving with a suspended or revoked license among other charges. I would say the totality of this situation would lend to the fact the officers were probably correct in what they thought was a drug deal.

If you are not a bad guy, you do not put yourself in the situation of passing dope in/out of your car window.  If you are not a bad guy, you do not try to run over a cop.  If you are not a bad guy, you don’t have several past convictions for drugs.  He’s not bad; he just made a bad choice.  Yes he did.  He chose the ride, he shouldn’t, and well his family shouldn’t gripe about it now.  The positive side to this is he will not try to hurt another cop.  Ever.

It never looks good when officers use force.  But, the bottom line in this is that sometimes it is necessary.  No cop hits the street in the morning hoping they a get a chance to shoot someone.  Don’t sell dope and try to run over cops and you should be ok.  It is not a difficult equation.  I am not real sure the outside investigation is needed.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Where has customer service gone?

One would think in today's economy and as tough as things are the level of customer service would be at an all time high. My personal experience is just the opposite or maybe it is just the people that I have done business with in the recent past.

As a small business owner, I ensure that I do everything that I can to make sure the customer is happy. This in hopes that they come back again or they refer someone else. I go out my way to make everything right if there is a problem.

Maybe it's just me but it doesn't seem this is the norm with companies. Here are a couple examples of situations that I recently encountered.

At&t cellular service: I had two phones with them and had used their service for years. I contact them and let them know I had been offered a specific package deal with Sprint. I told them it was a great offer, but since I had been with them for years I wondered if they would match or make a an offer comparable. "We don't match packages", simple as that. No let's discuss it, here's what we can do. Nothing. Basically tough crap. I told them I would like to stay with them, however I would have no choice to switch because the package that I was being offered better suited my needs. "I guess you better switch then." Are you kidding me? That is the way you do business. I can't believe a supervisor somewhere isn't all over this. End of story, the Sprint service has been great.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm not scared to beat up a 6 year old!

"Is your daughter home?" I don't care who these words come from or at what age the person is that speaks them, it turns a Dad's stomach. At least it does mine. When I found out my wife and I were going to have a girl almost 6 and a half years ago, I remember standing there in the ultrasound room thinking, Daddy's little girl. The second thought was not so pleasant. Somebody is going to want to date her someday.

So what did that mean? That meant at that very moment somewhere in this world there was a little boy, hell he might not have even been born yet. I don't like him. At all. Period.

A great guy that used to work for me and became a fantastic friend had raised three daughters. He mentioned the 1st thought and the 2nd thought. He smiled and says the 2nd thought never goes away. Great. 14 months later we were blessed with my 2nd daughter. Two to worry about now.

I have a son and don't remember ever thinking , "man I hope he doesn't have a bunch of girlfriends." Those thoughts never crossed my mind. He has now graduated high school and been through more girlfriends than I can remember their names. Still no problem there.

But, what about my girls? They are all of 5 and 6 and it already strokes me out. Two days into kindergarten my oldest daughter comes home and tells me a boy called her "hot". That's it I am whipping some 5 year old ass, come here boy. Then she started coming home with stuffed animals the boys were giving her. What the hell? Where are the teachers when these wolves are tracking my sweet daughter?

Now my youngest daughter is in kindergarten and her and her sister talk about the "cute" boys in school. Excuse me while I vomit………Ok I am back. I am not sure I am wired for all that lies ahead of me.

Now that I have laid the foundation for this thought, it brings me to the boys in my subdivision. Especially the little 6 year old stalker from across the street. The one that showed up on my doorstep at 7:05 am to let me know the bus was coming in an hour. The one that showed up at 8:15 pm wanting to know if MY girls could come out and play. The one that has made me a hostage in my house, who runs across the road every time my front or garage door comes open. C'mon man go find a boy to play with.

My wife laughs at me. In fact everyone that hears my rants and concerns gets a real kick out of it. Not funny folks. What am I going to do the day I open the front door and find the teenage version of me standing on my front porch wanting to see one of my girls? I figure this may be some type of payback for the things that I may or may have not done when I was growing up.

So in closing, if in the next 10 years or so, my daughters and I disappear, well it is because we have moved to an undisclosed location and will be remaining in hiding until they are 40. Any Dad's out there know of place to move to, because I know you have thought of it.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Don't Tase Me Bro!

That very sentence will either make you laugh or make you cringe.  I guess it depends on what side of the taser you are on.  The taser or the tasee.  If you do what you are supposed to do, you will probably never be on the business end of riding the lightning.

The use of tasers is back in the news again.  Is it excessive when they are used by Police officers?  I would say that almost all of the time when someone is zapped, they had it coming.  Yes, I am sure there are a few cases the use was not warranted.  I think these are the exception and not the norm.

The truth of the matter is this, it never looks good when police officers use force.  It never does.  I know.  I have been a police officer for most of my adult life.  I have had to use force on several occasions.  It never looks good.  No matter how justified it is.

Recently on the Early Show, a female reporter asked a former NYPD officer what people can do to avoid being tased.  This may be one of the dumbest questions I have ever heard.  The officer's response was priceless, "Do what you are told."  Sounds simple enough.

Cops usually don't roll into a scene and think I'm going to physically hammer somebody here.  There are usually some circumstances that lead up to the impending carnival ride.  Usually, the bad guy pays the quarter to ride and then bitches about the ride when it's over.  Do what you are told.  Don't fight, don't spit, don't run and you are probably going to be alright.

There are always going to be those cases when somebody's ticket gets permanently punched even if the officer used the minimum amount of force needed to end the situation.  It happens.  It's unfortunate, but it happens.  These are freak occurrences and no one planned on or tried killing anyone.  Most of the time there underlying medical problems that contribute to the death or there is something that is running through their veins that sends them flying into the abyss.  There is no way for the officer to know that prior.  I can tell you, you don't have the chance to ask a persons medical history or if they are on drugs as they are trying to bash your head in because they want to get away.

One case, the suspect is suing because he has a pacemaker and the cops used a taser on him.  Tough shit.  I can't believe the cop didn't stop to ask as you were fighting him or not complying.  Now it's the cops fault.  An officer has a split second to make the best decision they can to end a situation as quick as possible.  Then everybody and their brother has forever to set back and analyze the copper's actions.  Unless it is just crazy over the top brutality, the cop did what he needed to do.  It is easy to set back and say you should have done this or you should have done that in the comfort of your office.  You should try it on the side of a deserted road, by yourself at 2 in the morning, when you are fighting for your life.  The bad guy's health history never crosses your mind.

Give the cop the benefit of the doubt until you get all of the facts.  Most important don't be an asshole.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Send Me To the Girl’s Locker Room and the Hell With Being PC

I usually try to add some food for thought about once a week on my blog. I try to pick topics that I feel that I have a fairly good understanding of. Therefore I can go into one of my rants and feel that I have at least some knowledge of what I am babbling about. After writing this one I realized a covered a lot of the spectrum here.

But, I got to thinking about this week's entry. I thought to myself, self, I want to be a reporter in the locker room for the female swim teams, an on the spot reporter in the cheerleader locker room or maybe the locker room correspondent for women's beach volleyball or the WNBA. Let me remind you though, I will be offended if I see any women in various stages of dress or if there are any comments made. Pretty ridiculous, huh? I think so as well.

That is also how I feel about the "hottest reporter on the planet" claims she was harassed in an NFL locker room. That is like a stripper coming out to stage 3 and then complaining the customers were groping at her and making comments. What did she expect? I am not saying that's right or wrong. But it is the reality of things. When you put yourself in certain situations some things will have a high probability of taking place. Now, a reporter that looks the way the Inés Sainz and dresses the way that she does may expect that when she walks into a room full of Alpha males that play in the NFL, something might be said.

Do women have the right to be sports reporters? Absolutely. Do they have any place being in the men's locker room? Absolutely not. No more than male reporters belong in any of the locker rooms that I talked about earlier. I think most reasonable people would feel that way. I think.

The second part of the story that really bothers me is how the Jets have made their apology and Clinton Portis has now recanted his words. Portis pissed the Political Correctness Police off with his statements.

This eventually has brought me to my point. We are crippling ourselves as a society with this Political Correct bullshit. Yes. I believe you must respect each other and treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. However, we hopped off that train and now are onboard some kitty cat, flower filled train that uses new wave energy instead of fuel to propel us into ruin.